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| Study Reports Japanese Feces to Be More "Flavor Packed" Than Domestic | May 2nd, 2003 |
In a study released Monday the helps explain the immense popularity of so-called "scat porn" in Japan, the Journal of the American Medical Association reports findings that indicate Japanese excrement to be "far tastier" than similar effluvium worldwide. The succulent "ass brownies" produced in Japan exceed those of American in not only flavor and consistency, but also texture and aroma.
"In a survey of over 600 consumers of human feces we found that a stunning 96% enjoyed Japanese 'brown-eye loaf' the best," offered Dr. Kurt Vale of JAMA. "This is compensating for regional preferences that tend towards locally produced 'stink-mud pies' and 'skunk burgers'. A trend was quickly established pointing towards Japan as the leading producer of consumer-quality shit. Of course we backed our non-scientific surveys up with hard research, running a number of tests on samples." Head lab researched Doctor Albert Monroe was inititially skeptical that Japanese feces would prove empirically superior to American or German excrement. "We ran a breakdown on the chemical composition first," explained Dr. Monroe. "The results showed high-quantities of fructose, cinnamon, ginger and unprocessed teriyaki. The sulfur content was approximately ten-percent lower in Japanese fecal matter than in competing 'colon cakes'. This composition is what lends Japanese 'butt delights' their unique spicy aroma and hearty taste. They truly arouse the palate as well as the deviant libido." "We also ran them through a gas-spectrometer," continued Monroe. "We quickly discovered that these 'refried sushi rolls' were delightful, as capricious to the senses as a summer zephyr." NY Times restaurant critic Lance Gardenia was brought in for a taste testing of the various regionally processed cuisines, rendering a final non-scientific but respected opinion on the subject. "It all tasted like poop," moaned a physically ill Gardenia to reporters. "I must have gulped down about six-pounds of that shit and it all tasted like goddamn turds to me. Not that I had ever actually tasted crap before this, except at Français Le Baiser, where I swear the chef runs his crepes between his ass-cheeks a few times before serving. Zero golden spoons, all around."
Shit, so, what actually is it? 
We excrete about 4 tonnes of shit in a lifetime (3 to 6 ounces a day), but most of us know almost nothing about it.
In normal faeces, about 75% is just water. Another 12½% is dead bacteria (bacteria, essential for digestion, breeds rapidly, so you have to get rid of it or you'd swell up). The final 12½% is made up of indigestible bits of food (fats, proteins, minerals) and debris from dead cells, especially blood cells. Plus some tiny amounts of extremely strong chemicals, notably Skatole - which makes shit smell shitty, and Bilirubin - which helps destroy old blood cells, and is what makes shit brown (whatever you've eaten).
If you don't mind the whiff of Skatole, and so long as you're not carrying any nasty parasites or virus, then shit is perfectly safe to eat (though you're safest eating your own). It is said to taste like ripe Camembert … which makes you think.
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TOKYO JAPAN- April 6th, 2003.
Today I met with the wonderful 20 year old Miko Lee for the first time in the hart of downtown Tokyo.
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Miko contacted Shitnasty Magazine about 2 months ago. She was excited that her 20th birthday was coming up and wanted to do something special. She had always had this kinky fantasy of being covered in shit and had decided that well...why not celebrate her upcoming birthday in grand style!. So off to Tokyo I go now excited after seeing a tape she sent to us of a self induced enema she did in her bedroom. I could see she was very cute looking and the thought of her covered in shit was keeping me awake the whole flight over from New York to Tokyo. |
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I arrived in Tokyo and met up with my translator/guide at the airport. Later I finally arrived at my hotel and got a few hours sleep; the next day comes quickly as I'm awakened with a knock at my door. It's my guide and we are now going over to meet with Miko. When I walk into the room I'm greeted by this very beautiful 5 foot 2 women. She looks as excited as I am and says to me through my translator "Thank you very much for helping me live my dream today" Wow! She's really into this, now I'm glad I came all the way here to cover this story. With the cameras rolling she gets naked and starts to take a huge shit. I'm surprised at how much shit this little women can put out. Then she starts to play with her shit like it's play-doe or something. |
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I'm having a great time watching her; she's just having such a good
time too. Then she gets nasty and starts to smear the shit all over herself.
She's really into it and before long she's covered! All I can say is this
girl in amazing and you have to see the videos in the members area of this
site. You won't believe your eyes when you see Miko in total ecstasy as
she rubs her shit all over her beautiful little body. The best part is
she's celebrating her birthday!. Click here for an Interview
with Miko, sorry it's in Japanese but I think you will still understand!
Click Here to Join and see all the Videos and Still Photos we took on Miko in action! |
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ESSEX, UK- March 9th, 2003. |
Down and Dirty on the Farm. |
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Sent to us from Lisa, the one fallen in the shit pit. Her and her friend Gwen who were cleaning out the Barn on their Essex Farm just happened to get a little out of hand and the 2 of them ended up wrestling each other in this shit pit, a gooey stinky mix of mud, horse and cow manure! They said it was so much fun they are thinking of doing it again and inviting everyone they know to join them. If they have another event you will hear about it first right here on Shitnasty.com magazine. |
| If you have any photos, stories, or upcoming personal events to do with scat we would like to hear from you! rayann20@hotmail.com | |